you are my addiction`

Sunday, January 21, 2007

i'm back..

i miss updating my blog..
so many things had happened..

Azan n me..
we broke up.
2 wks already.
its not his fault.
its mine.
but he said it first.
lets break up.
i dun blame him nor i hate him.
but i just dun wanna get back.
maybe bcos i wanna have freedom.
but dats not the main reason.
but ask any couple.
for almost 5 yrs u had been together,
the feelings of bored will come.
not that i feel bored when im wif him.
but i feel suffocated.
no time for myself.
imagine i spent most of my teenage life with him.
tii now i mean lately.
but we r still v.gd frens.
just went out last sat.
n he asked for patch up for the 3rd time.
my answer?
still the same.
no.
i dun wanna get back to him bcos of sympathy or pressure.
i wanna love him like i use to.
but i cried every nite thinkin of it.
when will it end.
will i get back to him.
or will i get another guy who is as gd as him.
i dunno.
our parents dun noe bout it.
but my mum sense the difference.
she asked its been a long time azan has not call my hs.
i noe he's a gd guy.
but i've my personal reason of not gg back wif him.
its too late too regret bout it cos it has happened.
n i do not want to do it anymore unless the rite day comes.
omg..
i just feel like crying now.
me leaving him.
people said im stupid.
but how bout my feelings.
but having wonderful memories wif him,
its difficult for me to forget him in just a snap!

anw, thanks to my gf-s n haikal for their advice.
thanks to iskandar the bengkok for his advice too,
eventhou he kept asking "dah patch" whenever he see my face.
thanks to another guy fren..
he too..
like bengkok always asking me the same Qn..
susah org lelaki ni.
haha..

ok..throw away the sadness.
n guess wat la.
faizal the idiot
psychotic
crazy
stalker
came back..
omg n wat the fuck.
he came back.
i thot he's dead!
he called my hs.
n amazingly he still remember the number.
n i shouted at him once i noe its him n hang up.
he called again the day after at nite n another day my mum said a guy called asking for me..
im still wondering hu is he.
till now.
the last time he called me was the 1st spore idol final results.
n now like almost 3 years.
n he said im his gf!
since when lah dey.
i dun even noe u.
n wat u ecpect me to be a gf of a complete stranger.
self proclaimed idiot.
i hope he will stop doing all these.
coz i can't stand it.

its my first nite duty today..
can't wait..
excited.
i wonder how it will be.
must take a nap later.

i cant wait for prisonbreak this thursday.
just addicted to it.

n to my girlfrens..
i miss u guys..
bile nak kluar?
this wk?

better off dead.
|10:37 PM|